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28 July 2014 @ 12:48 am
A note to my future self  
Well, well. It has been a while. Who would have guessed I'd end up here again? It's been a strange sort of weekend where I visited my high school self and I am left feeling... uncertain.

How did I get here? Would 18 year old me be okay with 28 year old me? Would 28 year old me really give a fuck about what 18 year old me thinks (at least a little bit)? Will 38 year old me be disappointed in her life? Will 38 year old me still feel like 18 year old me in so many ways?

Part of me wants to write my hopes and goals for the next 10 years, but 18 year old me never thought to do that. I'm not where I expected to be and in most ways I'm okay with that. But in some I feel like I should have moved beyond some things.

Granted I never would have thought back then that I would have said goodbye to a parent. I thought I'd get to 30 at least before having to deal with that. I thought I'd get a wedding, or my sister would. I thought one us would have walked down the aisle with dad. I thought one of us would have been close to getting married by this time too. But c'est la vie.

In 10 years what do I want? Who do I want to be?
I want mum to still be around. I want her to be healthy for her age. And happy.
I want my sister to have found someone to settle down with. To have a job she at least likes.
For myself I want to find a job I LOVE. To be happy and challenged by it. I want to be surrounded by many of the same incredible friends I have now (and have had since high school). I want to have had my heart broken by love - by sweeping romantic love. At least once within the next 10 years. By 38 I want to have climbed Machu Picchu, traveled to 3 more countries, jumped out of a plane and ridden in a hot air balloon. I want to be comfortable in my own skin.
I think these are achievable goals and dreams. I guess I'll see where I am in 2024.
Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful